How will I do this?

I hate being fat!

I know if I want to lose this weight then I have to get my head right.  I know why I have to lose weight and I know what I need to do to lose that weight but the doing is the hard thing.

In 2005 I went on a big mission to lose weight and I went from 160 kgs to 119 kgs but I have gained back up to 140 kgs

For the last 3 weeks I have been on the Biggest Loser with my work group and have gotten down to 136.5 kgs. 

I need to blog again because that is the reason I lost the weight.  I got blogging and met some great people and then some not so great people came along and it ruined it all for me. 

My mum found out she had diabetes and then they did all these tests to see if she had kidney problems or cancer and it just got me in to a deep depression that I gained weight right back up to 140 kgs. 

I have been yo-yoing between 136 kg and 140 kg for the last 2 years so at least I suppose I can maintain but I am not maintaining at the right weight.

So how am I going to sort this that is the problem.

I need to have goals but cannot seem to find what those goals will be apart from numbers on a scale.  I felt great at 119 kgs and I know that is still way to big but I felt better than I do right now